About
The therapy process is similar. What we know about therapy is that we are delving into the sacred beauty of unveiling all that has kept us from knowing our true hearts. Anytime we focus on our need for well-being, especially mental health, we are engaging in a very sacred process. We are saying, “I’m important enough to this work. I’m important enough to know myself deeply and explore all that has prevented me from becoming the person I was created to be.”
At the same time, we are saying, “I’m willing to do the sucky work that’s necessary to honor my TRUE and sacred self.”
In our everyday lives, we get caught up in fear-based relationships and anxiety-driven organizations—situations where we can easily lose sight of our well-being and forget who we are! Our bodies begin to send us clues that we are anxious, that we are stressed out, that we are overwhelmed. We become so accustomed to dismissing our body’s signals that we forget it’s important to acknowledge just how sacred our lives are. We forget that we are worth the time and energy to cultivate self-love and practice self-care.
The ultimate reward is in knowing that with some help, we can push through the sucky part of the process in order to live in the holy, sacred place of who we were created to be!
About Me
Hi, I’m Shelia. I grew up in Houston, Texas, where the air is humid and the accents are thick.
On hot summer days, my grandma bought watermelon, and we spit the seeds at each other while running around under the water sprinkler in her front yard. I had a host of cousins to play with, 24 of us on my daddy’s side. All the generations interacted playfully more often than not. It could have been a great setting in which to learn and practice joy.
But my dad had already suffered the loss of my older sister, Belinda Ruth, five years before my twin sister and I were born. His suffering was not something I could comprehend, but it showed up in his drinking.
And then when I was just a few months shy of my fifth birthday, my dad who was on his way home from the oil fields where he worked, lost control of his pickup truck on a winding road in East Texas. He died just before my mom and my oldest brother arrived at the hospital. My dad left behind his wife of 15 years and 4 children, ages 12, 9, and 4.
These unimaginable losses were unbearable for my mom, and for as long as I can recall, she slept day and night.
Ultimately, I grew up in a low-joy environment, and while I learned to survive, I did not have the relational skills to thrive.
When I was 24, I began my own therapy journey. By the time I was in my late 30s, I had done a great deal of healing work, but I knew I still had growing to do. There were some places where I felt incredibly stuck, and I just couldn’t figure out how to get where I needed to go.
Then I met a clinical psychologist who studies neuroscience and theology. I met with him twice a week for several years, and he helped me identify the relational brain skills I was missing and then taught me how to practice and learn those skills.
He taught me how to remain relational in the midst of emotional upset. He also taught me how to act like my true self, something that took a lot of time and patience on his part and mine.
Returning to joy was something I didn’t know I needed to be able to do, and my psychologist not only educated me, he used his “trained brain” to train my brain—think of it like you would if you were going to a physical trainer. The trainer already has a sculpted body, and she uses her knowledge of the body’s muscular structure to train your body, much in the way she has trained her own.
Enduring suffering well was not something I was the least bit interested in. Why would I want to do that? But my psychologist knew the neuroscience and the theology that demonstrated my need to learn to suffer well, and so he helped me begin to practice this skill as well.
I am a full time high school English teacher. I’ve taught for 32 years. I love teaching and will continue to do so as long as I love it, but in 2009, I decided I also wanted to study psychology. So, I enrolled in a 3-year master’s degree program at Pacifica Graduate Institute and thus began my journey to becoming the licensed marriage family therapist that I am today.
Now, onto my credentials. I am a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist (MFC 90885), National Board Certified Teacher, UCLA Writing Project Fellow and adjunct professor. I earned my bachelor’s degree from the University of Texas at Austin. Additionally, I hold two master’s degrees, one in English and one in psychology. I also studied Spiritual Direction at Pecos Benedictine Monastery in Pecos, New Mexico; Spiritual Formation at the Stillpoint Center for Spiritual Direction; “The Converging Religions of the Area” at Tantur University in Jerusalem; and Thriving and the Life Model at Life Model Works.
Professional Affiliations
San Gabriel Valley Association of Marriage and Family Therapists
I am a charter member of the Next Level Practitioner program in National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine
I am also a member of the Therapy Mastermind Circle with Dr. Diane Heller Poole. This is a monthly, online community where we learn to integrate somatic attachment and trauma resolution into our therapy practice.
I have completed the online program on Attachment and Trauma Mastery by Dr. Diane Heller Poole.
I am also a coauthor of Joy Starts Here.
California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists
American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists