Cultivating Maturity
Are we mature when we reach a certain age?
At each stage of life, we are required to master maturity tasks.
When we fail to master these maturity tasks at any given age, it weakens our joyful identity.
Infants
Even infants must master multiple maturity tasks, including learning to regulate and quiet the big six emotions: anger, fear, sadness, disgust, shame and hopeless despair.
An infant must learn to receive. RECEIVING is an infant maturity task. We must learn to receive before we can give. Did you know that? *
Children
Children also must master maturity tasks such as doing things they don’t feel like doing! Children must master the task of doing hard things! They also must master the maturity task of asking for what they need. (I know a lot of adults who haven’t mastered these tasks.) *
Adults
Adults also have maturity tasks to complete. They must protect others from themselves when necessary. Whoa! They must live in a way that expresses their hearts. And they must make important contributions to their families and communities. *
Parents have a set of tasks, too! They must be able to receive guidance from elders. They must be able to give without needing to receive in return. They must engage with peers who hold them accountable.
Elders
Elders require maturity, too. They must have a community they call their own. They must help their community mature! They must be able to continue to act like their true selves when provoked or tempted. *
What we do know is that maturity takes effort and work.
It is our job to mature; it doesn’t come naturally with chronological age. In fact, we all know adults who are stuck at infant maturity levels.
Many of us have blocked maturity due to unfinished trauma recovery and a lack of life-giving relationships. The good news is that we can go back and master each task we missed. Maturity is our life-long work. It is possible to get unstuck and to grow!
*This list is not exhaustive, of course, and it comes directly from the work of Jim Wilder and Life Model Works. A full assessment is available in Jim Wilder’s writings.
I can help you assess the tasks you missed and work toward mastering them now, no matter what age you are!
