Psychotherapy for Families and Couples
We Want to Belong
Our families should provide a safe space for us to belong.
We should be seen, soothed and secure at home, but often this is not our experience. We can easily let the daily challenges we experience become bigger in our minds than who our family members are to us!
Examples
My wrecked car is now bigger and more important in my mind than the fact that you are my loving wife who accidentally damaged my car. My focus is on how terrible the problem is. I’ve lost sight of the fact that because you are my wife, we can solve problems together.
Or, perhaps the credit card bill is more important in my mind than the fact that you are my amazing husband who happens to be spending too much right now. My focus is on this problem you have caused our family, and I’ve lost sight of who you are to us and that your primary desire is to provide. I’ve forgotten that our relationship is actually more important than our debt, and that together we can solve problems.
Or, perhaps the kids are not listening to directions, mouthing off, and wreaking havoc! The fact that the dishwasher did not get unloaded is now bigger in your mind than who your child is to you. The blatant disrespect leads to exacerbated tension in your home, and you’ve forgotten that these people are your children.
Remaining relational in the midst of these types of emotional upset is difficult to say the least, especially when you just want the problems to stop and the peace to return.
Building Essential Relational Brain Skills
Using recent research in neuroscience, I will help your family build essential relational brain skills that will enable you individually and together to evolve into a R. A. R. E. and JOYFUL family, one where more often than not you are GLAD TO BE TOGETHER.
I will help you learn the skills to Remain relational, Act like your true self, Return to joy and peace from emotional upset, and to Endure hardships and suffering well.
My Goal for Your Family
My hope for your family is that each of you begins to experience and live in the relational peace, calm, and joy that come with mastering essential brain skills that most of us missed as we grew up.
When our families are able to practice these skills, we are better able to sort out what is important, recover from relational upsets, deal with the BIG emotions, and access and experience God’s presence in the midst of our daily lives. We are also much better equipped to spread peace and joy to others!
By creating a family that is trained in these skills, our children will be better equipped to raise their own joyful families.